Just because someone seems fine, it doesn't mean that they are. Here are some things you should know about suicide, including how to ...
Just because someone seems fine, it doesn't mean that they are. Here are some things you should know about suicide, including how to help someone who may be at risk.
Suicide is the second leading cause of mortality in people between 10 and 34 years of age and the 10th leading cause of death overall in the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). To put that in perspective, in 2018 more than twice as many people died from suicide (48,344) as from homicide (18,830). The CDC reports that another 1.3 million Americans attempted suicide and 10.7 million seriously thought about it.
Many people struggling with suicidal thoughts feel desperately alone, says Ekaterina Musok, a counselor and substance-abuse professional at Freedom Counseling in Florida.
“Suicide still remains a topic rarely discussed in many circles of our society,” she explains. “So it’s not uncommon for people to feel that they are the only one.” Whether you or someone you know is struggling with these feelings, you need help and support. That’s why we asked mental health professionals to share what you should know about suicide.
It can be hard to talk about thoughts of suicide
People can feel uncomfortable initiating discussions about painful feelings, says Musok. They may feel like they should be able to “just deal with it” or that others have it worse. They may worry that they will burden others. Or they may be afraid of being seen as weak and incapable.
So if you have a loved one struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts, it may be up to you to start the conversation in a loving, helpful way.
Choose words carefully when talking about suicide
When speaking about someone who has taken their own life, avoid the phrase “committed suicide,” says Jill Johnson-Young, a California-based grief counselor, author, and speaker. “This sounds almost accusatory, creates blame, and hurts those who are left behind,” she explains.
Instead, she suggests saying: “died as a result of suicide,” “died from suicide,” or even “ended their life.” Another common mistake is asking family members how exactly the person died. Don’t ask that question at all, she says.
Asking someone about suicidal thoughts will not make them more likely to attempt it
Many people fear that discussing suicide will make troubled loved ones think about it more often and increase the likelihood that they will hurt themselves. But in reality, the opposite is true, says Kara Lissy, a psychotherapist at A Good Place Therapy and Consulting in New York City.
“When someone expresses suicidal ideations or thoughts, talking about it can serve as a deterrent,” she explains. “Inquiring about these thoughts shows emotional support and care, and can often better direct the suffering person to get the help they need.”
Suicide can be an impulsive act
Interviews with many survivors of suicide attempts reveal that they often regretted their decision as soon as they made it. In one study of 515 people who attempted to end their lives by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, 90 percent never attempted suicide again and most reported they were grateful to be alive.
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